Monday, January 11, 2010

So my New Years' Resolution for 2010 is to start an RSP. (I'm a "grown up" now, so I'm trying to be responsible).

Today I added an item to the list (apart from the never-resolving, "drink more water" conundrum): This year I am going to read more.

A few of the blogs I've been reading have posted end-of-the-year lists listing the books they've read. i am going to do the same, so that a) i can hope to actually remember the books i've read, and b) I can force myself to actually read.

this entry is crap

That's what I was going to post last night. Perhaps the lesson to be learned is Don't Blog While Overtired and Lying in Bed at One in the Morning, but I am going to conclude that I am in a wee rut. Either that, or am having a seriously detrimental case of "the Mondays".

Seems odd to say that I'm in a rut, considering I'm in Toronto and embarking on the next chapter of my life, etc. and so on, but I think it is true. It seems to have taken longer than normal to transition from 'crazy Christmas, family, good ol' Hali' lifestyle to 'back in Toronto, starting a life, big city' mode. Also, I am startled by the measured lack of confidence I feel when confronted with the tasks required to get my "Fabulous Toronto Life" up and running. Like the Job Hunt which I've been dreading for ages: I find myself reading job descriptions and thinking "no point in applying, there's definitely someone else more qualified than me so there's no chance I'll get it" which is absolutely without question NOT the attitude one is supposed to have as one enters the job market. It's not good.

Today I didn't leave the house, which always makes me feel like a slug - especially while I'm staying at my cousins because while there is plenty of room and I'm in nobody's way, this is an incredibly busy and successful couple and I can't help like I'm being judged for my lack of initiative. Not to say I didn't accomplish anything today; I applied for a couple of jobs online (which part of me feels is futile and not the best way to get hired), unpacked, cleaned, and organized my room, and did a load of laundry - yay small victories! Maybe I should go for a nice walk... now that the sun is down... ....

Anywho, such is my lament on this cold, grey Monday. Tomorrow will be better. I know that I have the skills to do everything I want to do here in Toronto, it's just a matter of bucking up and attacking upcoming challenges with a fearless, "can-do" attitude.... and of donning several layers and actually leaving the house.

PS. "I'm going to read more" is NOT the new resolution I came up with (although I would like to, and I do plan on recording the books I do read this year). The actual resolution I came up with yesterday while getting dressed was "No longer will I wear hole-y socks. Once I find a sock with a hole I will discard it and wear warm, complete socks like an adult should."

... Wonder why I thought socks warranted a blog entry... yes, I think the term "rut" would definetly apply to what's going on here.

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