This morning I decided I would give my Levi's a break and wear a dress! Because it is March (read: springtime), because I am a lady, and because unemployed people can look nice too!

So I've got my fab Theory dress I bought at one of Halifax's newest consignment shops back in December when I pretended I had money to spend, I've got my burgundy tights that are awesome and a total steal from Joe Fresh, and I've got my now rather beat up boots that can pass for Fryes if one squints/uses one's imagination. I look cute damnit! Only March in Halifax does not mean it's springtime, it means it's grey and damp. Also, I'm now slightly left with the feeling that I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. BUT I'm wearing a dress, like a lady, and I look good. If potential employers knew how well dressed I was right now, they'd undoubtedly LEAP at the opportunity to hire me. 

....It occurs to me as I write this that there are plenty  of people (mostly ladies) who wear dresses all the time. It's part of their daily sartorial repertoire. A dress and tights on a Tuesday afternoon is not a big deal for these people. I should strive to be more like them. I should and I shall! But maybe I'll wait until spring comes?  

DEJA VU / PERSEVERANCE

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2012

Ever feel like you`ve got a long way to go

source

Getting my "fantastic new life" up and running is going as smoothly as one might imagine such a venture would... Frustrations and self-doubt abound and I find myself ending my days feeling decidedly unsatisfied with my accomplishments. It will get easier though, right? All of the [baby] steps I'm making on a daily basis will eventually turn into something to stand up and be proud of...right?!

I am re-posting this entry from (almost but not quite exactly) one year ago, because I feel exactly the same right now, today, in this very moment. Well this go around, I'd say I'm generally more optimistic, and productive..ish. For instance, I'm searching through old blog posts in search of a piece of writing I can beef up to include in an application for school. I am not quite sure going back to school is necessarily the best plan for me right now, but it is a plan, and by applying I am giving myself as many options as possible. Tomorrow I'm having my second informational interview with a charismatic young woman who works for a company I could absolutely see myself being a part of.. somehow. It may seem as though I'm in exactly the same place I was last year, things are different - I swear! I'll get there... I'll be theoretically pirouetting with the prima ballerinas in no time, albeit with a tad less grace, but I'll get there.

SO here's to baby steps, and to keepin' on keepin' on.

Starting over

Since the beginning of this year I have been on a quest to figure out who I want to be. Specifically, I have been trying to pinpoint the thing I want to do - the job I want to have. It is extraordinarily difficult. I'm filled with anxiety whenever anyone asks me "what do you do?" or "what are you up to these days?", I often feel like I am making extremely poor use of my time, and I can't help but think that I am not equipped with the skills necessary to decipher who I want to be and where that girl might want to start her career.

I make steps, but they are small. I research companies, read articles, look up school opportunities, and meet with people. I feel very much like I'm behind, that I missed some crucial step or link along the way and that is the reason why I don' t have stable careers or homes or cars like so many other people my age do. But F. Scott Fitzgerald is right: it is never too late to be whoever you want to be. It definitely takes strength to start again, and it is tiring, but in my case what is so wonderful is that I am surrounded by support and I do feel like I'm getting there.

Oh Blogger, I've neglected you. Let you down.

Truth be told, I'm trying to decide whether not to give up on ol' Alex in Wonderland and start afresh, or stick it out here and just get back into the blogging groove..

We'll see what happens.

Gut reaction when I'm asked to talk about my feelings:

http://seelikewant.tumblr.com/

source

to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart

I've taken to watching/listening to Ted Talks before I go to sleep. I like the idea of possibly learning something while lying in bed, and on the whole, Ted Talks are a helluva lot more interesting than anything on tv. Last night I watched this talk, and I really enjoyed it a) because the speaker is excellent and quite funny and b) because I am the opposite of the people she is talking about.

I also find a lot of sense in her findings and think it's important that we think about the power of vulnerability in this age of muscle and strength and 'keep calm and carry on'. It is a great message and I hope you enjoy it!