Feeling Low.

... or something.

I'm tired of spending hours scanning computer screens for job opportunities, mentally wrestling over the appropriate word to insert into a cover letter or application, feeling exhausted despite the startling lack of movement / physical exertion I've managed thus far.

I've found a company that sounds like a really great opportunity. It's holding an Open House tonight, and another one on Thursday night. I am unnaturally stressed about it - as I get about all events that involve a room full of strangers and a requirement to be my best and most outgoing self.

Does self-paralyzation exist? Is there a creature who - involuntarily or otherwise - stops itself from moving forward? There are enough venomous things out there, surely one of them is prone to masochistic tendencies... I'm pretty good at - involuntarily or otherwise - paralyzing myself. It sucks. It is not worth blaming things on, and yet it is very easy to blame a lot of things on.

So anyways, the day is gray, I'm filled with self-doubt, and I'm at the point where a cover letter makes me want to go to sleep and a meet&greet makes me want to cry.

No encouraging, go-get-'em comments please. I just need to vent and wallow before I get back on track.