It's spring fever.
That is what the name of it is.
And when you've got it,
you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want,
but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
~Mark Twain

via Reverie

Here's something hilarious:

Blogger asked me to make a new password today. So I enter my email, as instructed, no harm no foul. My inbox gets 2 messages, each with a link to a blog. This one (obviously) and a blog entitled 'Thinking Outloud' by one "youngLady_20" that I began FIVE YEARS AGO. This is the first of a pitiful 4 entries:

Here I Go...
I'm new at this thing, so you'll have to bear with me as I
figure it out. All I know is a place to anonymously write down my thoughts
sounds like just the thing I need.

Today was not the greatest way to start off my week. The concert that I wanted to go see started twenty minutes ago and I'm sitting here dressed up in my room by myself. I have this rather irrational fear of doing anything by myself; the movies, a concert, it even takes a long personal pep talk to get to the gym sans running buddy. As a certified "grown up" this is something that I know I need to get over, because sitting at home missing something you wish you weren't and feeling sorry for yourself because of it is not the best way to spend an evening. Although in tonight's case I must admit that the fact that I didn't get my ass in gear early enough, and the
sub-zero temperatures outside also factored in.

I'm also missing home terribly.My apartment is a mess to say the least; no matter how many dishes we wash, there always seems to be a huge pile on the counter, our bathroom is seriously in need of a plumber, and even though I've spent the bulk of today cleaning my room there still seems to be stuff everywhere. This town, this place does something to me. Lately I've been feeling like this is not where I'm supposed to be, like my life is on hold, and if I'd chosen a different path - a different school - I'd be out there leading my real life, somehow making a difference and
most importantly being happy while doing it... This issue is the most confusing,
if not the most prominent one in my life right now, so I'm sure I'll bring it up
several times in the future

I'm at risk of rambling in my first ever blog entry,
so I guess this will be it for now. I fancy myself as a rather un-interesting
person, however I will try to write eloquently and include things that have some
semblance of meaning, and maybe - if I'm lucky - I'll be able to reach inside of
myself and pull out something profound.

What I think the most hilarious (slash most extremely terrifying) is that I sound the same today. My writing style is the same - although why would it change, I suppose - I still lack confidence, and I'm still conflicted by the same issues. (Was I not just talking about how I should not have come to Toronto and instead should be travelling the world?!?) Although I am happy to say that my room and apartment are clean, and the dishes get washed...and I am getting much better at flying solo. Does this mean I'm growing up afterall?

Jackpot!

Who knew the New York Times had so many blogs?? I may have just hit a goldmine.

Nomadic Tendencies

I really want to do this.

Or just put my life on hold and travel the world a la Eat Pray Love. (Yes, I liked that book. Admit it: who doesn't like the idea of taking off to Italy, India and Bali for a year??)

Perhaps there's a reason why I find it so difficult to visualise myself in a stable, "grown-up" job... because that requires admitting to being in the same place for an extended period of time.

How lovely would it be to just hit the road - drive to exotic places, meet new and generous people, see the sun, feel the ocean? Aww yeah, sign me up.

Sunny Days Make Everything Seem A-OK

What a Gray Day this has been indeed.

....looks like I'll be going to the (dreaded) Open House on Thursday. What a shame. I finally got myself psyched up for it and neither my printer nor my computer will cooperate in giving me a resume to hand out.

Mother Effer.

(Computer actually behaving very strangely at the moment. Fingers crossed I don't have another Dell Disaster...)

Feeling Low.

... or something.

I'm tired of spending hours scanning computer screens for job opportunities, mentally wrestling over the appropriate word to insert into a cover letter or application, feeling exhausted despite the startling lack of movement / physical exertion I've managed thus far.

I've found a company that sounds like a really great opportunity. It's holding an Open House tonight, and another one on Thursday night. I am unnaturally stressed about it - as I get about all events that involve a room full of strangers and a requirement to be my best and most outgoing self.

Does self-paralyzation exist? Is there a creature who - involuntarily or otherwise - stops itself from moving forward? There are enough venomous things out there, surely one of them is prone to masochistic tendencies... I'm pretty good at - involuntarily or otherwise - paralyzing myself. It sucks. It is not worth blaming things on, and yet it is very easy to blame a lot of things on.

So anyways, the day is gray, I'm filled with self-doubt, and I'm at the point where a cover letter makes me want to go to sleep and a meet&greet makes me want to cry.

No encouraging, go-get-'em comments please. I just need to vent and wallow before I get back on track.

Remember way back when, when I gushed over a beautiful, fashionable, (slightly impractical) netbook?

Well I still want one. Only I've decided that maybe THIS ONE would be much, much more fabulous.

Want to learn something new today?

Than read this article.

I started reading it last night but due to distractions and a tired mind, only finished it this morning. It postulates the emerging notion among evolutionary scientists that Darwin's theory of evolution is wrong, and outlines the theory that the "nature" and habits we develop today have the possibility to affect our offspring at a genetic level in future generations. Really cool stuff.

(I'm not even out of bed yet and already learning about and sharing theories that spit in the face of 150 years of common knowledge - if that's not a sign of a productive day to come, than I don't know what is!)

I want this bike.

...and trenchcoat...and boots.

via TheSartorialist

I slept in this morning!

...All it took was weeks and weeks of late nights and early mornings, a ridiculous amount of cardio at the gym, a 2am phone conversation, and glory be, I managed to sleep until 10 o'clock.

I really, really, really need to get better at starting my days. This whole 'laze around until 11:30 am reading and blogging but doing nothing truly productive' thing is starting to make me feel like a life failure.

Reasons to be "Up and At'em" in the mornings:

• It is sunny and gorgeous out now that Spring has sprung and I should be outside enjoying this blissful weather
• My bank account is in a sad, sorry state of affairs. I need a job aka need to be job hunting.
• Being the unemployed person who stays indoors in their sweats all day is too much of a cliche
• Showering immediately upon awakening is a surefire way to ensure actually waking up in the mornings
• Days are less stressful as I have more time to accomplish the things that I need to accomplish and need not worry about cramming everything into an afternoon
• When I finally do get said job, I'm going to need to be up and at'em every morning so I might as well start now to avoid the inevitable shock to my system.
• Drinking a full pot of tea every morning is lovely but indeed rather unneccesary. Such decadence is better left to weekends.
• I don't even sleep in! If my body (and/or the sun streaming through my as-yet uncurtained window) is going to wake me up by 8:30 every morning anyway then I might as well take advantage!!

Anybody have any other incentives for getting my arse in gear upon waking? How about any tips on how best to do so? I hope you all are part way through your day like normal, productive members of society are..

photos via Green Couch

Reverie I think you might have found my dream home. Certainly my dream bathroom - that bathtub is sublime.

What a lucky girl to have such talented friends..

Will Kipping Perkins: "I found out today that I’ve been nominated twice for a Theatre NS Merritt Award for Outstanding Lighting Design; for two shows that I feel incredibly lucky to have worked on with my good friends at 2b theatre company.
Standby for the results on March 29th.

“And the winner is…………………….”"

What will I ever do with my life??!!

Tonight I'm going out for a beer with friend of the family to discuss "my career". Remember the interview I had a while back? Well nothing came of it. All that stress was for naught.

So last week I met Mr. Banker for a coffee to discuss the possibility of me working in "the Finance Industry". He's super nice, and we had a great chat. I'm going to meet him and his wife (also a bank employee) for a post-work beer and continue a conversation about life in the finance world.

He suggested that in the meantime I think about other industries I would like to work in; which is a hilariously difficult request for me. My whole problem and the root of much of my stress is that I have not a clue what I'd like to do, or which career path I should choose.

So over lunch I took an online quiz to tell me which jobs best suit me (okay, so I took 2 quizzes..)

Quiz #1 says my ideal jobs are:

artist

historian

banker

novelist

university professor

photographer

veterinarian

paralegal

graphic designer

online content developer

webmaster

producer

managing director

nutritionist

advertising

nursing

Quiz #2 suggests these as suitable career choices:

editor

journalist

teacher

strategic planner

consultant

performing arts

marketing

communication

research and development

Interesting. Some overlap. 'Banker' is represented, but other than that no jobs that I believe Mr. & Mrs Banker can really assist in. Almost all of these require (in my view) further schooling. Helpful? Kind of, but not really. Huh.

Time change is kicking my ass this morning. Operation Americano is about to happen in a big way.

Tonight - via dailydoseofimagery - I stumbled upon Joe McNally's Blog. As you may have a thing for photography so I perused. I was intrigued, but not invested, not until I read this post. Here's a snippet:

Photographers. We’re strange, right? We can’t stop. We run when others
walk. We work when others relax. We have no sense of weekends, holidays, time
off, time on, or time in general, except as it relates to sunrise or set... We
shake our heads, punch buttons on expensive cameras, eyeball perfect strangers,
ask odd questions, and wait for light. What an odd thing to wait for. We also
have restive, restless, roaming eyes. Eyes that don’t shut down. Eyes that often
feel hemmed in or framed by a 35mm lens border, eyes that correspond to a 24-70,
or a 200-400, depending on what they encounter. Eyes that curse the dumb
conglomeration of plastic, brass and glass we place in front of them, asking
that mix of pixels and wiring to be surrogate vision, supple as the real thing.
Hah! We might as well ask a fucking toaster oven.

I'll be visiting again to read some more rants and stories, and ogle some more beautiful images.

Coco, you are just the coolest.

Was going to share a quote from quick-witted and classy Coco Chanel, but turns out she has so many good one-liners that one quote was not enough:

" Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door "

photo source

" As long as you know men are like children, you know everything! "

" Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. "

" A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous "

Y'know what I just realized?

Yesterday I posted my 200th post! Perhaps I should have made more of a fuss, because 200 is a lot. Maybe I'll save the pomp and circumstance for 250...200 is a lot, but 250 seems oddly more impressive; so stay tuned: Post250. It's gonna be a party.

Found: Dream Home

I want to live here. I want to go to Paris. I want to stay here. I want this to be my life.

Who doesn't want to start their day with a salsa dance?

Hanging on

So Roomie is here, the apartment is in relative chaos, and there is currently a man drilling a hole through our basement wall.

BUT despite all of this, the apartment is coming along.

We have been on a hanging-spree for the past couple of days. Mirrors have gone up, hooks, photos, art, frames, it's all happening people. It is happening, and it is a LOT of work. We're working on a "feature wall" (if you will) in our living room. Yesterday we had a grand time turning our living room floor and all of our frames/posters/photos into a puzzle. We've now got a pretty good idea of what we want and I'd say about 1/4, no, 1/3 of all items are currently affixed to the wall.

Of course I don't have any photos of our progress yet (once all of our mess gets cleaned up I promise I will take some photos and post them. For now, here is an idea of what we are going for:

photos via desiretoinspire, apartmenttherapy and theselby

SPRING!! What a novelty..

It's 11 degrees and sunny right now. Time to get off the computer and go about accomplishing things so I can go outside and enjoy this beautiful day!

Quote of the Day

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”
- Tom Bodett, American author, voice actor and radio host

via Beyond the Gray

I'm sharing this because Roomie capital "L" Loves James Dean.

Man Candy Monday

...Like seriously, we're going to have a lot of James Dean in our apartment - but that is okay because he was one helluva good-looking man.

Sunny days, warm hearts

I'm listening to Randy Bachman's Vinyl Tap on Radio 2, as I often do on Sunday nights (just going to throw this out there: it's an absolutely awesome way to cap off the weekend)

He just played Bobby Day, and I thought that it was the perfect song to sum up the day/weekend. Spring sprung in Toronto. It has been sunny and hovering around 8-10 degrees and it makes me unreasonably happy. Picture people, dogs, families, even Toronto hipsters (!!) outside enjoying the weather, strolling the streets, sitting in parks, dreaming of summer. Now put that to music, and you've got this song:

Today I went to a free concert. Have I mentioned the free concerts at the Four Seasons Centre? If I haven't, I don't know why because I think they're fabulous.

Today it was a recital by the voice performance students at University of Toronto. The recital title was called Lachen und Weinen, Weinen und Lachen: From Ectasy to Agony and Back Again. It was (as per usual) a truly lovely way to spend a lunch hour.

One of my favourite songs was by a contemporary Canadian composer; a composer who just happened to be attending the concert and obliged in giving the audience some insight into his process behind composing the pieces (which I thought was super facinating). It was the last piece of the recital, it was song by a beautiful mezzo-soprano, it was a German poem by Heinrich Heine which translates to:

My sweet Love, when in the grave,

In the dark grave you lie,

Then will I climb down to you

And nestle at your side.

I kiss and caress and press you wildly,

You're still cold and white!

I wail, I tremble, and weeping mildly,

I become a corpse myself.

The dead arise and midnight calls,

They dance in airy swarms,

But you and I stay in the grave

And I lie in your arms.

The dead arise, and judgement day

Calls them to torture and pleasure;

But none of this bothers us,

We remain entwined below.

Umm...

Okay, I just have to talk about this for a second. I read this article this morning and I'm not gonna lie, it's been in my brain all day long.

Vajazzling. It's here people. And yes, 'vajazzle' is a combination of the words 'bedazzle' and (ahem) "vajajay".

Jennifer Love Hewitt does it, so do the hoity-toits up in Rosedale, and really all I have to say is I DON'T UNDERSTAND.


Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I can go to sleep. Phew.

(And may I just say that I am not the only one with this on my mind, which is oddly comforting, and proof that I haven't completely lost it and turned into the girl who thinks about bejeweled bikini areas.)

Roomie Cometh!!

My roomie is en route to Toronto! She is on the open road as we speak...er, as I type! She is bringing with her a big box filled solely with tea paraphernalia. Don't know if you figured it out yet, but I am a big tea drinker. By the time she is un-packed we will have no fewer than 4 tea pots, and what I'm sure will be more mugs and creamers than any couple of 20-somethings has need for. It's going to be glorious.

PS. Saw this tea set at Indigo yesterday. It is adorable, and what an homage to what is sure to be a fantastically awesome movie.

Fabulousity

via TheImpossibleCool